Stand-Up

Day 86 (280) – Chocolate Milk Childhood

As I sit here enjoying my glass of chocolate milk (the “homemade” kind of mixing Hershey’s syrup and white milk), I can’t help but think back to the days of yore.

I miss some aspects of my childhood and wish that I could relive some of those great memories.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could take the fun things from growing up and apply them as grown ups?  In fact, I think I should be able to, considering I haven’t gone through puberty yet (damn you voice!).

For instance, let’s go back to us guys being mean to the girls that we actually like (the origination of “hitting on a girl” – actually hitting her).  Screw this “chivalry” and these “games.”  Can’t we just be mean and have you still like us?

And I would love to be able to be honest like children and still be considered cute.  But no, we have to be concerned with people’s feelings.  (Seriously, you look fat in the dress, stop asking us questions you know the answers to.)

Let’s not forget our diets either.  What’s wrong with eating cold pizza for breakfast, having 7 hot dogs for lunch, and spoiling our dinner with chocolate chip cookies?  We’re back to being kids, what’s “nutrition” anyway?

Also, we shouldn’t get “paychecks” or “salaries” – we should get “allowance” (this is just a semantics change).  Why?  You could spend your allowance on anything you wanted.  “Pay checks” and “salaries” imply that they are meant to pay bills, to feed your children, and other silly “necessities.”

Though I don’t want everything to return from my childhood.  I could go without being bullied by those damn high school girls, and I’d like to not have to wear any of those God-awful sweaters again.  (Side note: where does the phrase “God-awful” come from? Is it a proclamation to God to point out how awful something is?  Or is it suggesting that something is as awful as God, and if so, is that a bad thing?  I don’t get it.)

Unfortunately I don’t think the days of our youth will ever return to us.  At least I’ve got my chocolate milk.

© 2007 drew tarvin blog.