Stand-Up

Day 70 (296) – I’m Shady

Track 18: I’m Shady (why do I have a track listed?)

I got insulted the other day, and I’m still kind of hurt by it.  I was talking to a girl, and she called me “shady.”  And my first thought was, “Who says ‘shady’ anymore?”  But once I got past the old school reference, I pondered if the insult had any merit.

She claims that I am a “shady” person because I flirted with an older woman just to get free food at O’ Charley’s.  Now I don’t even know if I would consider what I did “flirting.”  I merely told our nice waitress that I thought she looked like a younger Bea Arthur and smelled of Lilacs (she actually smelled like mothballs, but who wants to be told that?).  And who’s to say I didn’t actually like the woman?  Maybe I like women in the AARP…  Ok, so I was flirting with her to get free food.

But is that “shady?”  Women use flirting to get what they want all the time.  Bartenders?  They flirt to improve their tip.  And must I mention the whole profession of stripper (sorry – “professional” “dancer”)?  And let’s not even talk about nuns – those naughty seductresses for the Lord.

So I don’t know that I would say that I’m “shady.”  Besides, it’s not like I got a lot of free food.  I just flirted with her and got some free rolls.

NOTE  – it has now come to my attention that you always get free rolls at O’Charleys.  I feel so… used.  Damn that waitress, she’s so “shady.”