Stand-Up

Day 65 (301) – Come on Everybody

Track 13: Come on Everybody (why do I have a track listed?)

I went on vacation not too long ago, and I decided that I don’t think there is anything more annoying than that one morning person that seems to be on every trip I’ve ever been on.  You know the one I’m talking about, the one that decides that you have to do something every minute of your vacation that you “can’t do at home.”  And for some reason, they take it upon themselves to be the trip’s “leader,” to try to dictate everything that the group does.

It’ll be 8 o’ clock in the morning and they start waking folks up.  “Come on everybody, you don’t want to miss the best part of the day, and there’s free complimentary breakfast!”  First of all, there is no free complimentary breakfast.  You’re paying for it one way or the other (most likely through overcharging you on the room).  It’s like those people that consider the food on a cruise as “free.”  You paid $1200 dollars for that cruise, that food wasn’t free.  Second, yes I do want to miss it.  I want to enjoy this luscious hotel pillow I’m sleeping on and completely miss the first half of the day.

Now if only the “leadership” ended there… it doesn’t.  “Come on everybody, you don’t want to eat lunch at McDonald’s, you can do that anywhere.  Instead, let’s go to that hole in the wall place over there that is unique to this geographic area that will end up giving us food poisoning.”  “Come on everybody,  you don’t want to go shopping at Wal-Mart, you can do that anywhere.  Intstead, let’s go to that mom and pop store where everything they have is circa 1995 because they don’t get much business.”  “Come on everybody, you don’t want to go to the bathroom in a restroom, you can do that anywhere.  Instead, lets go on the beach…”

You see it’s called a vacation – that means you are to vacate from any responsibilities and not have to worry about that kind of stuff.  Just let me do what I want to do, I don’t care if I could do it “anywhere else.”  I don’t want to get food poisoning from a niche restuarant.  I don’t want to drink a pop from 1995 that’s flatter than the girls in gymnastics.  And I especially don’t want to poop in the sand – I’m not a cat.