Stand-Up

Day 63 (303) – My Fault

Track 11: My Fault (why do I have a track listed?)

I was at a bar the other day, and this guy drunkenly falls into a girl and knocks her red wine all over her white dress.  She of course gets pissed and starts screaming at him, and his response is … “My fault.”

My fault?  My fault?   Of course it was your fault.  No one was doubting that it was your fault, no one was going to blame the girl for standing there.  I think that phrase is so funny, because it replaces “I’m sorry,” and it takes away any apology from the statement.  It says, “Yeah I did something that was probably uncool and that I should maybe feel bad for, but I don’t.  So I’ll just agree that I was at fault for it, but not apologize because I don’t care.”

Now I’m not saying that you always have to feel bad for some things, I’m just saying that “my fault” is reserved for small mishaps.  You accidentally step on someone’s shoe, “my fault.”  But to spill wine on a woman’s dress?  Are you going to exclaim “my fault” after you run over someone’s dog, or accidentally punch their child in the face?  I’m waiting for Bush to just hold a press conference, walk up to the podium, and say, “my fault.”