Track 7: ’97 Bonnie & Clyde (why do I have a track listed?)

The Evolution of a Joke

Before I get started with the actual joke, I thought I’d share the process by which I came to the joke (which incidentally I still do not know what it’s going to be as I write this).  Now I know that this may destroy some of the “magic,” but I thought it might be interesting considering the rather unique approach I am taking.

As you are aware, I am creating a set list based on the titles to Eminem’s Slim Shady LP.  As a result, I have to come up with some type of joke based on a song title.  Normally, it would be the other way around – you would come up with a joke, and then give it a title, but, oh no, not in this blog.

Today’s track is “’97 Bonnie & Clyde.”   Considering I don’t really know much about the duo, I first have to research them via Wikipedia.

Now that I know they were a bank-robbing couple, and how they were, in a way, idolized, I know that my joke has to do something with a guy-girl couple committing crime.

The “’97″ part of the title is rather tricky, and really only lends itself to a joke that will be similar to the concept of Eminem’s song, a (at the time) modern version of Bonnie & Clyde.  The year 1997 would put me at 13 years of age (23 – 10).  And if I was 18 when I graduated high school, that would mean I was in the 8th grade in 1997 (18 – 13 = 5, 12th Grade – 5 = 8th Grade).

Alright, so now I know my story/joke has to do something with me and some girl being a crime-duo in the 8th grade.  First, we’ll start off with an introduction to my story:

I know what you’re all thinking… “I bet you were a badass when you were a kid, weren’t you?”  Of course I was.  How could I not be, weighing all of 89 lbs, sounding like Daisy Duck.

Ok, so that sets the tone to tell a sarcastic tale of me being a badass.   Now to bring in the phrase:

Me and this girl, Sarah, used to be the baddest mo-fos in all of 8th grade.  We were the modern day Bonnie & Clyde of the west… side of our junior high school.

And now I’m at a crossroads, because I have so many directions I could go.  I could make up some ridiculous stories of actual crimes we “committed.”  But I think what I’ll do is go the opposite way, and create “cute” crimes based on puns.  I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a good pun?

 We used to steal all kinds of stuff.  I was good at it too.  Hell, in one game I stole second AND third…  And Sarah, man was she ever the kleptomaniac.  She’d “steal glances” at me every day in study hall.

The two of us were the biggest drug dealers in our surrounding area.  She was into selling weed…(s).  Dandelion bracelets – she had that on lock.  Me, I sold the harder drugs, like Angel Dust.  But only at the beginning of December, because that’s when I’d have to clean the Christmas decorations.

We were also heavily armed at all times.  Me because I wore a watch, and at 89 lbs that’s a lot to lift, and Sarah because she was chubby and had the whole arm fat thing going on.

The problem with some of the puns above is that they are a little obscure, which puts me at risk of the audience not getting them.  But hey, I like my jokes to be “intelligent.”  Now let’s wrap it up and bring back in the title name one more time.

 Yep, Sarah and I did just about every crime you could think of.  Assault & Battery – I’ve been known to throw some Duracells.  Driving Under the Influence – I only rode a bike when Sarah told me to.  By the end of 8th grade we were even Serial (cereal) killers.  There wasn’t a box of Trix or Lucky Charms that could survive me and Sarah, (though I have to admit it was mostly “Flabby Arms” doing the eating).

That’s right, you could’ve called us the ’97 Bonnie & Clyde.

And there you have it, a stream-of-conscious evolution of a story/joke/blog entry.  Is it the greatest story in the world?  No.  But there are definitely some things I can use (“Heavily Armed” would go perfect with my “Treekiller” story).