Stand-Up

Day 56 (310) – Paul

Track 5: Paul (why do I have a track listed?)

I knew this guy in college named Paul, the biggest badass I’ve ever met.  He was one of those guys that was really into UFC, and was in some amateur fight club thing.  Whenever he would go out to a bar, he would always challenge girls to punch him in the face… I guess that’s one way to get them to “hit” on you.

What was weird was that we were pretty good friends, and I never knew his last name.  He may have told me once, but I forgot, and was always too afraid to ask him.  I don’t think Paul would have ever hit me directly, but he could easily use me as a type of bat against anyone else he wanted to hit.

The one negative about having Paul as a friend was that it gave me an unwarranted cockiness.  I figured that I could get away with saying anything I wanted to anyone, because he could always back me up.  And nothing pisses frat boys off more than a skinny, 13 year-old sounding kid talking trash about their popped collars.

The problem was that I got so used to Paul being there to back me up, that I started talking trash everywhere I went.  Then one day I went to a party and Paul stayed home.  Of course I insulted the wrong guy, and without support from my UFC friend, I ended up spending the night crammed in a guitar case.  You’d think after a night in there I’d come out toned, but I just spent the rest of the week high strunged…