Stand-Up

Day 318 (48) – Warning Labels

In today’s “sue happy” society (that is a society with a propensity to sue people for easy money, not necessarily a society overflowing with people named “Sue”), companies are taking more and more precautions to try to protect themselves.  One of the ways they seem to do this is through the use of absurd warning labels.

Companies will try to warn about anything, to the point of absurdity.  “Curling Iron: Not to be used as a phone.”  What happened to “Survival of the Fittest?”  Do we really want to keep some Einstein dumb enough to use a curling iron as a phone alive?  Shouldn’t we just let nature take care of them. 

My favorite are the warnings for things that have a .0000001% chance of happening.  The gas station is the worst, have you seen the warnings they have at these places?  “Avoid static electricity.”  “Don’t use your cell phone.”  “Don’t drench yourself in gasoline and then light a match.”  I know what you’re thinking, drench yourself in gasoline?  No one would ever do that.  And I agree, not at these prices.  Now if gas drops to $2.30 a gallon, it’s a bit more appealing.

But seriously, avoid static electricity?  Are there people out there, rubbing their feet on the ground and then touching the pump?  And cell phones?  We should probably take care of the whole problem with people being on cell phones while driving before we worry about someone using one while filling up.  I am curious though, if you call someone while their at a gas station, and it blows up, have you just committed murder, or just found an amazing loophole as to how to knock someone off?