Stand-Up

Day 317 (49) – Just My Imagination

Many people make assumptions based on my appearance whenever I get on stage to do stand-up.  My button-down shirts, dress slacks, and dress shoes give the perception that I’m some middle-class kid who’s always had it easy (when in reality it’s often because I’ve just gotten off work and still in my business casual clothing).

And granted, I didn’t exactly grow up dirt-poor, but I wasn’t dirty rich either.  Like most families we had our times of trouble, where the money was tight,  and the problems were real (unlike “fake” problems rich people create – like cocaine addictions).  My teachers always thought I was a bad student, not very bright.  But it was my parents that told me to steal the toilet paper and bring it back home.. and the soap.. and to fill up water bottles with water from the toilet…  I used to eat a lot of paste, just so I had a meal while at school.  I wasn’t dumb, I was a thinker.

And you can always tell when you’re poor, when your mom was always telling you to “use your imagination.”  “Mom, I’m bored.”  “Use your imagination.” “Mom, I don’t have any toys to play with.”  “Use your imagination.”  “Mom, I have no friends.” “Use your imagination…”  It was always “use your imagination.”  I am mom, I’m imagining we ain’t broke.  We imagined so much stuff growing up, I might as well have been Peter Pan.  “Oooh, let’s play baseball… Let me just grab my bat (aka an empty paper towel dispenser)… now you throw the ball (a used tissue)… after the game we can drink our expensive sports drink (Windex)…”

We also had some good years.  I remember one Christmas when my Mom was really swamped at work, so my Dad did all the shopping, and we also had some extra spending money.  We got a computer (and thus my geekdom started), a pool table (just call me Jaws), and a big screen TV.  Oddly enough, we were back to “imagining” things the next year when the credit card bills rolled in…

(Cheesy Side Note so you don’t “get it twisted”: Some of the above is factual, some of it is fictional.  We did have some rough times, but we also had some good ones.  All in all I wouldn’t change a single thing about my childhood as it’s made me who I am today.)

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