I don’t like to brag, but I used to be a model.  Don’t believe me? (Thanks to Adam for finding this picture):

(Click the image for full-size).  Yeah I know, I’m pretty sexy in my Osh Kosh B’Gosh.  I used to have to beat the girls off with a stick.  They used to chase me around the playground and everything.  Oh how things have changed, I wish girls would chase me around now (not like second grade girls… I mean ones my age… damn it… Great, now I’ll get be seeing Chris Hansen).

Man, I was the shiznat.  I had blonde hair and a swagger like you wouldn’t believe – I just knew I was cool.  That’s the great thing about being a kid – you don’t know even understand what “self-esteem” is, or care what other people think.  You just did what you wanted to do (and what you could get away with from your parents).

Plus the baby face and high voice were charming then, there’s was no expectation to have been through puberty yet.  But not now.  Nooooooo.  Who says by 23 you should be able to grow some speckle of facial hair?  I didn’t have facial hair back then, and look, I was relaxing with two fine honies on a brick wall.

The funny thing is that’s the only picture my brother found of me modeling (unlike my mom and him who were in what seemed like hundreds of them).  Maybe I was just too cute and the other models couldn’t concentrate.  Who knows?  But at least I have this picture, and I can always say that I was a model – so take that Woodruff!