Stand-Up

Day 203 (163) – MeetingZzzzz….

Well after some fun with Personal Development Week, it’s now time to return to the funny…

I get pulled into a lot of meetings at work, and it’s always a challenge just to stay awake. It’s like being back in college, with that boring college professor in his blazer with elbow covers and his tendency to butcher the English language. Because you always start out with the best of intentions. “I’m gonna really pay attention, soak up everything, maybe even ask a thoughtful question or two.” And then it starts to happen, dreamworld beckoning you.

Your eyes start to get a little heavy, so you start to move your face a little bit to keep them open.  The person across from you is either already sleeping, or thinks you’re completely insane.  And then that crazy head bob starts happening, and when that head drops, you snap back awake, freaked the hell out. I hate it when you get those spasms that come along with it, you know. You punch the guy next to you, and of course he’s pissed because you woke him up.

Eventually you decide to give in and just sleep. But you can’t find that position to actually get comfortable and sleep. Because you still want to be inconspicous, so you can’t just lean back or anything. So you try some make-shift pillow thing using your arm as a pillow, but that just puts your arm to sleep. Which is fun in-and-of itself, because now your pissed off at your arm because it gets to sleep and you can’t. And you’re screwed if you have to write something after that, because it’s like that extremity has gone retarded.

Finally you find a semi-comfortable position that doesn’t require you to be some sort of elastic play doll to get into, and slip kind of in and out of sleep, in and out of reality and the dream world. And right when you’re about to enter that state of bliss, you hear your name called. And you spring back half-surprised, half-confused, because you have no idea why in the hell your name was just called and the hell people were talking about. And of course you’ve gotta say something.  “Right, mhmm, ok.”

“Great, thanks for volunteering. Ok, so Drew will be attending the weekly 4-hour accounting meeting and reporting back to us with updates.”  So now you’re screwed because you’ve just volunteered for 4 hours of dreaded hell every week, and on top of that, because you slipped in and out of dream world, you have no idea what parts of the meeting were real, and what parts were dreams. Like did he say there was going to be a lot outsourcing coming up soon, or did I dream that? Will we really be having strippers at our next office party, or was that in my head?

Fitness Challenge Update (the original numbers are in parenthesis):

• Weight: 135.0 lbs (+1.0)
• Waist: 29.5″ (even)
• Chest: 35.0″ (+1.0)
• Biceps (L/R): 12.75″/12.25″ (-.25/-.25)
• Quads (L/R): 19.25″/20″ (+.25/even)
• Calves (L/R): 13.0″/13.0″ (even/even)

I started the challenge 4 weeks ago today, and if you go solely by the numbers, don’t really have much to show for it.  But I have been more consistent with waking up at 6am (though it’s not every day), and feel like I have more energy, so I consider it a success.  The next step is to go from working out at home with no weights to going to a gym and actually moving those heavy plates around.  The past 4 weeks have been great to get me back into the routine, now it’s time to add some muscle.