Stand-Up

Day 193 (173) – Good Day

I went to Meijer today, and as I was leaving, the Meijer greeter said to me, “Good day.”  And it wasn’t until I got to my car that I realized that good-for-nothing-moth-ball-smelling-decrepit-old-lady insulted me.  Ok, maybe insulted is too strong of a word (but she was decrepit), but she certainly didn’t compliment me or wish me well.

See, she was merely commenting on the quality of the day, as in “Today is a good day.”  If she was wishing that I would have a day that was indeed good, she would have said “Have a good day.”  The fact that she dropped that “have the” meant she didn’t give a damn about me, or my day.

And I suppose I can’t really blame her – while I’m a strapping young lad merely perusing the consumer goods in Meijer, she is a sagging old lady that is forced to work there as a greeter.  While the job is not difficult, it does suck incredibly.  Back in my glorious high school days, I was a marvelous employee of Meijer, mostly doing carts and cashier, but I was once forced to be a greeter while covering one of the old lady’s 15-minute breaks.  I now know why so many old people work as greeters – that 15-minute shift was THE LONGEST SHIFT EVER.  Working as a store greeter makes you want to die.  It prepares you for death by simulating the feeling of eternity in only a 15-minute time span.

So I guess in the end, I’m not mad at the old lady, I feel sorry for her.  And I guess considering the fact that I don’t have to take a boring job to stretch out the days of my slowly fading life means it really is a good day.  Touche decrepit old lady, touche.