I went to the grocery store this past weekend… hungry.  That’s the worst idea, isn’t it?  You go in and everything sounds appetizing.  Oooh, granola bars, those could be good.  Mmm, plain rice cakes?  Delicious.  Lemon-scented urinal cakes – I say yes!  (FYI, urinal cakes is misleading, they are not part of the baked goods food group.)

While I was in the store, I saw an advertisement for Miller Lite: “Has half the carbs of Bud Light.”  I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but there are 6g carbs in  Bud Light.   You save a whopping 3 carbs by switching to Miller Lite.  If you decide that you are going to “splurge” on a Bud Light, just make sure to work off those extra calories by doing, say, a single jumping jack.  Though I guess if you drink as much as some people I know, 3 carbs a beer could theoretically turn into a savings of 300 calories a week.

I was feeling pretty good about myself because there was this cute 18 year old girl checking me out … my total came to $32.17.  I tried to be smooth the cashier and tried a joke on her: “Where does a fictional serial killer go grocery shopping?  Freddy Krogers…” She was not amused.

She kind of gave me a weird look after scanning my items too, probably because of the “interesting” combination of items I had.  Thinking back, I can see how it might seem just a little bizarre:

• I picked up the urinal cakes because they sounded scrumptious.
• I’m addicted to candy (damn you Nate), so I had some variety bags of candy and of course Starburst.
• My computer chair at home broke at the armrest, so I got some duct tape.
• We were out of garbage bags, so I grabbed some of them.
• My brother was doing renovations around his house, and asked me to pick him up a shovel.
• For my Mom’s birthday, an outdoor enthusiast, I decided to pick up a book entitled “Ohio’s Most Obscure Wilderness Adventures.”

Let’s see, candy + duct tape + garbage bags + shovel + guide to obscure locations…  No reason for her to be alarmed at all.