Stand-Up

Day 118 (248) – It’s Not Whether You Win or Lose… Right…

I made my (triumphant?) return to the world of soccer today – I had 2 outdoor soccer games with a team of P&G folks.  That’s right, my first time playing real outdoor soccer since high school was a double header – my body loves me right now.  Just stepping on the field reminds me of my high school days, when I was an incredibly competitive person.  I used to constantly talk to the refs about “bad calls,” and when I played indoor I would always talk trash to the older players on the other team.

In retrospect, I am probably the last person that should talk trash, ever.  First, the whole voice thing does not invoke fear in other people, nor does it sound authoritative.  “Aww that’s cute, is Mickey Mouse trying to talk trash.”  Second, I don’t exactly have the stature to back up what I say (especially in high school when I weighed a buck twenty-five).  I’d make the mistake of talking trash at the beginning of the game, and the other team would then proceed to use me as a Raggedy Andy doll for the next hour (and thus another reason I hate the nickname “Andy”).

But that was back when I was incredibly competitive – and absolutely despised losing.  I was a sore loser in everything, not just soccer.  I once accused my mom of cheating in a game of Pictionary… Pictionary!  Talk about a game not having much importance on your overall life, and I was certain she had cheated to try to win (stupid Flying Nun).

Luckily I’ve gotten much better (at least I think).  I’ve realized that it isn’t always about winning, but sometimes just the fun of playing and the experience is what makes it all worthwhile.  Now I say sometimes, because there are certain activities that will always piss me off if I lose in: Halo, Tribond (though as I think about it, I’ve never actually been beaten in the game), and anything comedy related.  But to be honest, losing still irks me a little (and always will).  Because most losses can be traced back to being my fault (I missed a shot, I didn’t get a clue, I forget part of my set in the middle of a stand-up competition and stand on stage just saying “wow” for 45 seconds…).

And there’s something about failing that I’ll never be happy with.  But then again, if I just acceoted failure and never grew from it, what kind of person would I be?  (President maybe?)