Skits

Day 128 (238) – A Play a Day in May #8

 Urine Hands

Location: Public restroom
Characters: Tom, Matt, various.

[Matt has finished using the restroom and is washing his hands at the sink.  Tom finishes at the urinal, flushes, and walks over to the sink to check out his hair in the mirror.  Tom then leaves the restroom.

Matt notices the recent event, dries his hands with a paper towel, and then opens the door using the towel.  He returns to the restaurant table, where he and Tom are having a double date with their girlfriends, just in time to see Tom reaching his hands into the community bowl of tortilla chips.

The group finishes dinner and the two girls leave in one car, Matt and Tom in another.  As the two groups split, Tom kisses his girlfriend good bye, and pinches Matt's girlfriend on the cheeks.

Matt and Tom return to Matt's parents house.  Matt introduces Tom to his parents, and Tom shakes both of their hands.

The two sit down to play Xbox 360.  As Tom reaches for a controller, Matt - having observed everything Tom has touched - freaks out.]

Matt: Dude, don’t even think about it.
Tom: What are you talking about, I wanna play some Madden.
Matt: Not with those hands your not.
Tom: What?  What’s wrong with my hands?
Matt: I saw you in the bathroom, you didn’t wash your hands back at Don Pablo’s.  I didn’t say anything as you walked out of the bathroom to return to our table to start eating the community chips with your dirty hands.  I didn’t say anything when you touched my girlfriend on the cheek with your urine fingers.  I didn’t even say anything when you shook my parents’ hands with your penis palms.  But to think you were going to touch my Xbox with those?  You better think again!

FADE TO BLACK