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Subway Story: Raoul

Subway Short Stories: Fictional stories written with characters inspired by riding on the New York City subway.

What is it about the subway that makes me so angry? I’m normally a happy guy–in fact I was ecstatic not even 20 minutes ago when I was in Best Buy playing Street Fighter 4. But now I’m on the subway and I’m pissed.

There’s no particular reason I should be angry, I mean I can play on my PSP or listen to my iPod, but dammit I’m mad. Maybe it’s the smell. This subway smells stupid. It’s not as bad as that one time there was a homeless man sleeping on the floor of the train, or even that time someone threw up their Chinese food on the seat next to me (god that pissed me off). But it still smells dumb.

And what’s that guy looking at?  Looking at me and typing away on his phone.  Does he get cellphone reception down here?  I doubt it.  What’s so important in his big head that he has to write it down now?  He’s probably writing a dumb journal or something.

That girl next to him is kind of cute though.  I wonder how old she is–probably either 16 or 30–I can never tell.  Girls are tricky like that these days anyway.  The young girls want to look 21, the old girls want to look 21.  How am I suppose to handle that?  I don’t want jail-bait or a cougar.  Stupid girls.

Maybe that’s what I hate about this stupid train–that girl’s voice on the speaker.  “Stand clear of the closing door.”   Oh, like I’m going to try to stand in the middle of the door for the whole ride?  Like this is a roller coaster and I’m trying to go on a thrill ride?  Of course I’m going to stand clear of it.  Anyone dumb enough to not get out of the way of a closing door probably isn’t someone that’s gonna listen to your stupid announcement.

Hmm, looking around and it looks like pretty much everyone else is pissed off too–it must be this dumb car.  No one is ever happy on the subway because it’s dumb.  That guy–angry.  That guy–discontented.  That guy–wait, does that guy have a smile on his face?  What is he so happy about?  Is this is first time on the freaking subway?  You think you’re going to Jared’s house or something?  This is a subway, not Disney Land, why are you so happy?  Maybe he’s on drugs.

Oh, speaking of drugs, that’s probably what this beggar will buy with the money he makes from these people.  It’s the harmonica guy.  Oooh, you can play a song on a harmonica, here have $1,000.  You only know one song!  You might as well be playing “Row Row Row your boat” and get the whole subway car to sing along.

Oh thank the Lord, it’s about time we got to Union Square.  Finally I can leave this stupid subway.  Wait, why aren’t the doors opening?  Open stupid doors, open!  I can see the people out there, we aren’t moving, why aren’t they open?  Oh, well there go.  Watch out people, let the passengers off the train!