I apparently have the pickiest eating habits of just about anyone most people have ever known (at least that’s what I’m told). Many of you are already aware of my habits, but let’s detail a few of them and I can explain why I am the way I am:

• I don’t eat seafood. Seafood is just disgusting, I think most notably its smell (insert inappropriate joke about women here). The texture is terrible as well, all seafoody and what not. They say fish is brain food, and I think that’s because it takes will power to be able to eat the stuff.
• I generally avoid sauces (insert inappropriate joke about men here). This includes your normal condiments like ketchup (reserved only for really bad fries), and things like salad dressing, barbecue, etc, etc. For example, I eat salad topped with just salt. Salad dressing is just liquid disgusting waiting to overrun your lettuce with awful taste. (Interesting side note, I just now realized how close “awful” is to “aweful” which would theoretically mean full of awe, which is a positive thing, whereas dropping the ‘e’ makes it a negative thing.)
• I don’t drink alcohol, pop (soda for you weird people), iced tea or coffee.
  • Alcohol – I’ve never liked the taste and also feel that I don’t need it to relax and have fun (which oddly enough is a manifestation of having too much pride/confidence in my own self – but, hey, at least you always have a DD).
  • Pop – I stopped drinking this because I read somewhere that it stunts muscle growth – note that this hasn’t helped me at all. But pop is interesting in that once you stop drinking it for awhile, it actually takes commitment to start again, and I have a strong fear of commitment.
  • Iced tea – I used to love iced tea when I was growing up, but being the youngest, I was always the one that had to make it. So I decided, out of laziness, if I didn’t drink any of it, then I wouldn’t have to make it. It worked, but it also caused my brothers to force me to do other things (DO NOT insert any type of weird joke here), but ever since, I haven’t really liked it.
  • Coffee – I’ve never liked the smell or taste of coffee, it’s always reminded me of licking dirt, which then reminds me of being forced to lick the carpet (literally, not figuratively) by a girl in high school, which is never a fond memory. Plus, this also goes back to the whole pride thing in thinking that I don’t need coffee to be able to stay awake.

With all of that stuff that I don’t like, what is it that I do eat?

• Chicken. By far the greatest food on the planet, especially when it’s from Chick-Fil-A. Chicken is the only food that I have yet to really find a way for it to be cooked (raw doesn’t count) that would discourage me from eating it (aside from mucking it up with sauces).
• Potatoes. By far the greatest “vegetable” (I put vegetable in quotes because it is clearly a gift from the gods. Potatoes are the anti-Sarah, whereas seafood is the Sarah).
• X-Factor Gatorade & Hi-C Orange Lava Burst. Delicious beverages that will forever quench my thirsts. And I swear my taste for them has nothing to do with my obsession with the color orange…

So there you have it. When you think about it like that, I’m not really that insane when it comes to my selection of food intake, am I? Right…