Skits
Day 233 (133) - Assignment 3: Twinkie
After getting dinged in my last assignment for still relying too much on dialog, I tried to limit the talking in my scene to a minimum. My assignment was to write about a “simple, yet impossible task,” i.e. something that a person should be able to accomplish (such as going to the bathroom), but is unable to do due (ha- doo doo) to a variety of circumstances.
Check out my scene “Twinkie” before reading on for the critique.
This week my instructor liked that I went in a different direction and wasn’t limited by what I thought would be easy to portray on stage. He thought the choices were solid and the reactions from the characters seemed realistic (not in a sense that they would happen daily, but in a sense that they didn’t detract from the scene). He accurately guessed that I had no idea where the scene would end up when I first started writing it, and just like me (when I was writing it), did not see the end coming.
As far as what to improve on, he still suggests that I’m not writing enough, that I’m not exhausting all possible strategies for my characters, and therefore not pushing myself far enough. Let’s see if I can get to about 15 pages next week and really explore the character.
(No Ratings Yet)
I don’t care who you are, the “do due” joke was funny. If that didn’t put a smile on your face, check your pulse!
I was really sad face for Steven… My only critique is that I would have 86′d the 17 year old (are they allowed to work that late?) and subbed her for a big, fat, one-toothed, 40ish woman. Then I would have believed the story. I also thought the story was plenty long enough.
bien hecho!
that’s a good point, a 40ish fat woman is more believable and funny. and is being “sad face” different than being “sad” for someone (besides the addition of the word “face”)?
[...] a follow-up exercise to last week’s “simple yet impossible task,” we again had to write about something that should be easy to do, but the character is unable to [...]